Maybe this is last entry before i'm going to Sarawak.Yes,i'm sad.I'm sad because i will leave my family for a long time and my lovely friends.I will not going update this blog for months i guess since i don't buy a notebook yet and i will miss my blog so much :'(
Everything would change after this and i am going to be a woman and not a "kiddy" girl anymore.I really hope so.There were a lot of thing that i wanted to change myself and i really hope it really happen.Insy-ALLAH,aamiin =)
As for this entry,i actually wanted to dedicate this post for someone whom i admire and respect.I dont know whether that person will ever read this post,but deep in my heart,i wish that person read it.I am not gonna mention the name of the person here.It confidential,,,hehe ^_^
23 March 2009
That was the day when i was admitted to MRSM Bentong,Pahang.I don't think too much about it and i kind of blur "what going on" on that day.I quite excited about it because what i want at that moment was to find friends and study! yup! that's all.I've wrote about my feeling on the first day at MRSM in previous entry.So i will not gonna wrote it again.This day was the first day that i met eye to eye with that person.To be honest,i didn't really care about that moment.I just wanted to walk around,to see how the new school enviroment is,my hostel,whose my roomates and all about the school.But one thing,i do remember what had been said by that person,but not the full sentence,something like this,,,"Kat sini cuaca dia panas,kene banyak minum air putih.Depan banggunan akedemik banyak pokok hijau,so nak belajar tenang bile tgk pokok2 hijau tu..." that's all i remember.=) (ok,,,senyum sorang2 depan komputer,,,hahaXD)
To be honest,that person taught me a lot on being a mature person and a woman^_^ (yes,it is a matter to become a "woman",,,big different between a girl and a woman=)) Critics that had been given to me by that person,sometimes make me down,,,and i felt worthless.I felt bad,and i started to assume things that i should not.Sometimes i think other person are far more better than me from that person's view and i am just ,,,nothing.It stress me out and i do have some complication with "identity" at that time.I argue with myself for not being a good one and being such an unappropriated person.Deep in my heart,i know that i make that person felt,,,guilty.It may also felt annoyed by my action and hurt i guess.Only ALLAH know how do i feel at that moment.But now,,,4 years had past by and when i think about it again,,,it actually critics that taught me to be a strong person and who really am i =)
Learn from experiences.One thing i learnt from that person.It teach me on how to be more appreciative.What past do to you is a mark for you to start a new journey for the future.Take it as a lesson,put all the hard things aside and move on.A cliche sentence,"let bygone be bygone" =3 It easy to say but hard to make it into action.Well,i think we must have the courage to ACCEPTED the past.To accepted what wrongs we have done and don't be ashamed for the past mistakes.Make a change~ =D
Try to be a strong person.Since i was 16 at that time,i was a "fragile" girl.Make a decision all based on heart and mind was bit ridiculous.So,when i want to cry,i just cry without thinking more further.I just said what i wanted to say.What my heart say and what i'm thinking,i just follow it.To easy and weak.But still that person giving advice and sometimes i felt i am just a burden.
One of my favorite quote from that person,,,
"Atas langit ada langit,bawah bumi ada bumi"
"Walau hebat mana pun diri anda,ada org lagi hebat dari anda,dan sebaliknya"
p/s : I wish i could know that person more better,,,i don't want to see only from one side because i don't want to simply judge good all the time because i realize that human are not perfect,so i didn't want to get so much hope on what do i see now.I afraid my heart will get hurt.I really hope ALLAH will give chance for us to know each other...insy-ALLAH,,,aamiin~ (doa tp perlukan usaha,,,betul tak? ^_^'')