Friday, January 28, 2011

Experiences are worthy

Life is more better when you have experiences.Something that you must find by your own and ready to accept any obstacles that await you.Whether it's painful,happy,sadness,awful...all of sorts of feeling were comprises in it.All in one.Okay,why i bringing this issue because i want to share my newest experiences in my blog.If you wanted to feel how is grateful is,one of the best way is work from the lowest.What that? Like what me and my cousin did.(not trying to show off or proud wrong!) Becoming a cleaner will make you feel grateful,and patient towards the obstacles.
When peoples did not know who are you,they will clearly said anything they desired.Anything possibles.Example is from the last post that i wrote.Yes,it hurts your feeling but truth and reality is something that you must go through with it and deal it.That's how you want to treat life is.

Recently,we had going through some hard times,(not as hard as the senior cleaner workers)

- Confront with someone who are really rude and improper.
- Confront with someone who had a very blue mind,(nasty thought!)
- Confront with someone is not really like to talk,(is this a problem?? :P)
- trapped between the problem of two peoples having fight.(not the physical type of fight)
- Confront with the "what people will say about you".( i will say it's paranoid)

The list above is what we had through and for us,it's though...but that will never do,so the best things to do is be neutral and be yourself,true to yourself...even though we lose our mind sometimes for some reasons.Just do the best.Now i know how the office's life is...i would say it's much the same with school's life but not all,maybe around 40% - 55% something.What is the same is,grouping,secrets between them,hating peoples or dislikes,paranoia,cleanliness...haaaa,yeah that is,cleanliness.We really have to instill the clean habit from the start,i dont know when the 'start' is but whatever it's start while you can and hey,it worth okay!=) (very teasingggggg:P)

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Be modest and humble is good...

Today, as usual,my cousin and I goes to work.Basically when we're done,we will wondering around the place and sit anywhere fine spot.So,we sat on the cafeteria's chair but there are someone who really taking a deep sight on us.Well,i don't mind at first and i dont want it either.But then,thing become so annoying especially to my cousin.I come acrossed in front to the person and i smiled.I heard he said like this "Apa la budak ni merayau kat sini?"...hmm,it's none of your bussiness just mind your own! Then we flew to the other places and actually get back to the cafeteria to find something for lunch.The bad news is,the person is still there and i still dont care and again dont want it either.

I checked out what the menus for today lunch.While i checking,my cousin saw the person looking at me and she heard he saying,"Budak ni takde duit ke nak makan?" really get my cousin nerves for sure! She really wanted to tell him that we're a worker here who had a work to do! and not loitering here!! She pissed off.I felt odd when she pull my hand and going out from the cafeteria.Then,she said,"Aku benci betul!" with the angry looked.I said to her,"what?" Then she explained everything to me.I know how the feeling when someone looked down on you.Of course you will be mad at it even i am.It really taking her mood down for hours.She said that she detest when someone said that to us."Aku tak boleh betul la dengar orang cakap macam tu,macam la kita ni hina sangat! tak berpelajaran! Aku sakit hati tau tak! Aku nak je pergi bagi tahu orang tu yang kita ni kerja kat sini sementara nak tunggu SPM!" I just let the words blurted out from her mouth.

We believed that everything happened had their own meaning.A very deep one.Same like this situation too! They didnt know who we are and where we from and what we capable of.Human mouth cant never be ceased until the end of the world.The functionof mouth is to speak and we're given the chances to talk anything that we wanted.Anything,even bad or good.So,just let it be and be humble and modest.What people say doesn't matter.Indeed it hurts you.But from the pain only we can learn the meaning of life.If there is only joy in this world,human can be too ease at anything and never want to learn and will never move on onto the next stages.It may take hours,days,months or even years to heal your heart if you're in pain.Here is depend on each of the human.We all know that human is different from the others.Malay proverb state "Rambut sama hitam,hati lain-lain".That you have to learn by yourself how to endure pain.The one that can help you is yourself.The others are just giving you the support.

P/S: My teacher once give a talk about this.She said,(This happened on the Rasullullah time),there are a father and son with their cow.On the way their wanted to go to their destination,they make their cow as a transport,then come this peoples said to them,"How pitiful the cow is,how dare they are!" So,they walked.The come this peoples and said,"How dare the cow is! it let it master walked by foot.Then the father let his son to sit on the cow,then come this peoples and said,"How dare the son is! Letting his father walked by his own! They exchanged place,then come this peoples and said,"How dare the father is! Letting the son walked by his own!.Moral of the story is,peoples will never stop talking,they will talk and talk until their tired.We must endured by any mean and pray to ALLAH always...wallahualam.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

The first of all...

I received a massage from the person i gave him a present today.It makes me so happy.It makes me wanted to smile all the time.I love to give more than get it from someone but it was nice if you received something from another person.Especially,the person that you like.Talk about someone that we like,the person that i gave that present is the first person i like since i'm in MJSC.I still remember when i ask his phone number and he kind of shocked the way i asked him his number:)
But then,he still give me his number and my plan is accomplished.Well,it's a plan because i wanted his number but then i kind of embrassed and that time,only one person know this matter...she is one of my girl friend.I gave him a note while the prep time is running.I wrote..."Uwekkkk" and he laugh at it.I am so jubilant and like him more.

Time elapsed so fast until i didn't remember that he is the person that i like.In the mean time,i didn't realized that he like someone and that someone is someone that i know.She is my first best friend and i love her so much.I didn't realized that and make me suprised.For the first few months,i didn't see any clue that he likes her,so i just let it be.I realized when my friend told me.It make me heartbroken.But they were so good to be together and the fact become more strong when he,himself told me that he actually like her.Well,I supported him and said that i can help him.That what i do.It kind of sad but when i pondered back,i want him to be happy.It was pain to heard that since he is the person that i like.But then,pain is good for you to be more strong to face the future.

The real thing is far more complicated.At the same time,i like his best friend...(gosh,there are many person that i like...:P) That why i didn't felt deeply,madly,truly heartbroken when i heard the truth but the pain is still emerged in my heart because he is the first person that i liked.To be honest,i sometimes got jealous with her whom that he likes.The way he treat her makes me so envied and i wanted that too.I hope the person that i like at that time that is his best friend would do the same thing to me but too much hope is TERRIBLY WRONG!...I was more in pain.I was being hurted so much.I kept locked in myself in the toilet until the prep time is done.

By the time flew away,the pain is much more greater and i can say,i hardly breath.I cant focus on what i do,i kept thinking over that problem.I EVEN DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING! Thing become more worst when he kept chatting with her almost everyday.Everytime, i heard their conversation,i lost my mind control.I cant get straight what i'm doing at that time.It's irritating and envious.

I slammed my book and dash out from the class and ready to shut myself in the toilet...and crying.I kept thinking why his best friend never ever did what he had did to her.WHY?! A lot of crystal clear never stop glistened on my cheek.I become more weak.Luckily, i've my friends who help me and supported me.They bring me the light when i'm in the darkness.They gave me hope and try to make me more focused.I thanked to them so much!!

Until now i like him and his best friend but i starting to let it be.I'm totally messed up with his best friend.I dont know what to said but i preferred to make him one of my Best friend for now.I willing to help him what i had promised to him before.Anything,the he wanted a help,i willing to lend my hand....

P/S: i dont know whether what i'm doing is right or wrong...sometimes my feeling changes...that what i weak at...

Sunday, January 16, 2011


After day by day gone,I wrapped up my friend present.It kinda late because the birthday date supposed to be 9 January and i should send it before the day but well,a small problem came out...very small problem,hehe~~ Anyway,tomorrow is a work day so my cousin and I will started the work as a cleaner for the 3rd Weeks.Work as a cleaner is not difficult to do.Just clean whatever is dusty,untidy,or dirty.That's all.But...haha,but you have to be really clean and make sure all of it is done.If not,complaining is coming:) After all,it's still fine and you will be fatigued.The after weeks and month,you will get rid off it.It's just temporary a work before we get the SPM result.

About the work,I actually enjoyed it.Maybe because i like to socialize with peoples.Talking to peoples is great.But i still lack of communication skill.As time goes by,I will improved it.I really love to talk.I prefer tete-a-tete more than grouping:)

P/S: My friend is a guy but i wrapped the present with pink ribbon...i think he wont mind about it...haha:D

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

I did it at last...

Suddenly i'm thinking of shutting down my FB.I don't know whether my decision is right or not but i really want to do it and yes i did...I need some spaces and time.For what? I even not sure why? It kinda harsh to say this but i'm tired.I want to have some time.For some changes.There is about 9 months to go or less before entering any Universities..(hope so:)..) So,i intended to do some changes.This is the time.I don't want to be like this forever.It's terrible.After all this is my decision,so i have to be strong and confident.

I still remember one of my teacher in my school mention that how much he had changes for about 5 years.From a person who is shy and not-so-talkative into someone better.I want that.To be honest,i even didn't know who i am.It maybe weird but for us to understand who we are is very vital.I want to know what my potential is.True potential.I want to go to bright side...(not that i'm a bad person before:P...) I want to find my "door" but first i have to find the key.In order to find the key,I must know deeply about myself.What i can do? My strengths.

I still have a long journey ahead....the "key" must be somewhere in this world.I must find it:)
yup! aja aja fighting!:D

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Let bygone be bygone...

For about 2 years in MJSC,i learn a lots of thing.I learn who i am,who are your real friend,people,study and many more.I got a lot of memories too but better let it be.To be honest,i didnt miss my school and the moment either.I'm much suffered than relieved.Except for some memories that i kept in my heart always.If i were given the chance to reverse back the time,i dont want it at all.For me,it enough.What had been happened,let it happened.But all this things,give me strength to be a better human.I learned how to accept people opinion even though it hurt.I try to calm myself whenever i running into problem.What did i do is crying.Lock myself in the toilet and cry as long as i want.When you're hurt,nobody care except your friends.Your real friends.Thank to my friends who were really help me much when i had problems.I really love my class and the peoples.Sometimes we were fighting for unreasonable cause.But that not stop us from being friend with each others.Hate someone is a normal thing because we as human has feelings.I also had someone that i didn't really like but not hate.Again,what had passed,is already passed.

Being a student in MJSC is not an easy work,or thing to do.Maybe to some student is not but not to me.I didnt achieved what i want.I can say that i'm very suprised when i figured out who i am really.I didnt socialized much.I cant do what i wanted to do.I kind of disappointed on myself.But I have to love myself even though you realized that you didn't do it to the fullest.I still have next time in the future.I want change.I don't want myself now.I know it harsh but we always look ahead not glanced back.We live for the future not past.I believed that everybody changes even for a small changes.Learn from the past.

I will and hope that i can use this holidays to gain something useful for the future.Do some reflection towards myself.Find some information regarding any Universities.Thinking of what course will i take.There's many things that i should do.Love?? urmm...honestly,i would like to be in love (I believed everyone want that! :P) because i had never been in that kind of thing before but it's best to focus on study.I had someone on my mind but nahhh...i don't know:)

P/S: Since this is my first post,i don't know what to wrote.All that i can think is my feeling cause i love to write anything regarding my feeling.